This week has been such a week. Nothing has gone as planned. I'm sleepy, stress out, tired. And it was cloudy all day.

In upper Manhattan, snow shower had been hitting towards us since last night. Yesterday was something different tho, I went to JFK Airport by subway to picked up my friend from Japan, Naoko Nagasaki. It was quite a ride to getting there. Today I'm just feeling a little blue. A little overwhelmed by life. It happens some times to me. Thanks to a little daily dose of some great meds such as a lame Felix's joke, the blues don't last long these days.

In the past they would show up and stick around for LONG periods of time. Sometimes I fear that might happen again but usually, it's only a short stay and I'm back to normal. I wish I could figure out what brings them on, why they show up and how to avoid it all together. At this point I've deal with it for so long that I recognize what is happening and that helps me not get sucked in to the spiral of depression. But it's always weird to me to be recognizing what is happening but to not be able to do anything to stop it. It used to be worse when I stayed in New York upstate, depression hurts. It's taken times of self-meditation and patience on for me to living. I'm glad I'm here. But still wishing I could just bypass the blues all together.

I always thought I'm strong enough to carry on all the good and bad day by day. I do and I will be doing it everyday. But no matter how independent a person could be, I need you.

--Diary of the moment--
--Jessica--